Desiderata

Moving....

2008-01-25T00:24:00.000+08:00

To my fans (harhar!), my updates will be at lucillajoanna.livejournal.com from now on... *hugs*

Lipat ka na rin don, Allen. Kaya lang hirap ayusin layouts. Papatulong pa ako sa SPEW.

sigh squee sigh

2007-12-09T22:29:00.000+08:00

Philippine Speculative Fiction was launched yesterday and wow.

I was the only one there without much accolade to my name, and though I'm the youngest, Marguerite looked younger. Hehe.

Of course, when I went down before them, I lost control on my tongue and babbled, but I forgot to say what I've been feeling since I got the acceptance letter and saw the official table of contents: and that is how honored I am to be among them literary giants.

I got nice autographs from Dean, Luis, Charles, Yvette, T.J. I wanted one from Ian Casocot, but there I went, cold feet and gills. Andrew Drilon, who I missed in my autograph hunt, and who plucked the plum in the Neil Gaiman-sponsored Philippine Graphic/Awards I drooled for, waved 'Congrats!' to me when we met on the FB escalators, him going down, me going up. I was too tongue-tied and touched by his friendliness to do more than nod.

Nice folks, all of them, and I'm so inspired. Wait 'til you see what Mr Katigbak wrote to me. He says he's waiting for my six novels. Oh no. I shouldn't have put that in my bio! Susme, my editing IN folder is clogged as I type away here, because I've been so distracted reading Montgomery's Anne series.
Go over to Bibliophile Stalker, guys, Charles called me and Marguerite a cutie there. Wahaha. ^_^

The photos: My story in PSF3's so delicious layout.

Nikki and Dean.

I might get some names wrong (I even thought Yvette was Marguerite when I asked for her autograph!), so I'll just say I'm glad where I placed myself: That's Mr Katigbak behind me, Andrew and Joseph (prose winner in Philippine Graphic/Fiction) in front of me, Yvette (2nd place in PG/F) and Charles (blogger and stalker extraordinaire) to my right and Mr Casocot on my left.

Of banners, signatures and de-dignified books

2007-11-10T02:22:00.000+08:00

(No offense, Harry! I mean me, not you. You're such a man. Wahaha.)

Now, Allenpot, I went to the Bannermakers Association at MNFF Betaboards (this is where I request and get my banners. After I request, after they make it, they display it, I save it, I upload it and use it.) and nosed around. They use Photoshop or GIMP: a Photoshop-like program free for download online. I wanted to download it, pero susme, I checked the tutorials and ganun din, like Photoshop din, it will take time to master it, and my time would rather be spent in writng than agonizing over those layering thingies and spraining my wrist on the mouse besides. You try it, lenpot.

As for the linking...

I prefer photobucket because of the html. Through the html, I link the banners to my stories. It's easy: After the equal sign in 'a href', you can put whatever address you want the picture to link to. Don't remove the quotation marks. There is another pair (of quotation marks) after 'alt='. You can put your own words here in lieu of the photobucket advert. You evil genius, Pauie!

--> "This signature has been edited by a moderator for being larger than the rules permit. Please resize your image to fit with the rules or change your design. P.S. congrats on your book." -- This was what I got after using the PSF3 cover for my signature in the Forums, hehe. Buti I didn't lose House Points!

Sarah Crewe~

When I saw Allen's and Ren's text message about Princess Sarah in ABS-CBN, I was excited, I thought the station was rerunning the anime. I grew up with that show. It kept coming back. Because the story was a Classic. Never lost its charms.

I don't watch much tv, and my family is a Kapuso, too, but I flipped to ABS to see what the hoolabaloo was about.

Ugh.

The gracious and courtly lascar, Ramdas, became Ramadas and will be played by Ai-Ai. Good Godric.

And they turned it into an overly fluffy musical. The child they cast as Sarah is adorable in dramas and comedies, and I know her caliber, but she just ISN'T Sarah Crewe the way Emma Watson is Hermione Granger.

The child is too bubbly. Sarah is a solemn girl.
The child is cute but without a 'subtle beauty'.

I understand that they should deviate from the original book and the faithful anime series, but they went too far! The core things they should have left alone, like Sarah's disposition (she's supposed to have a quaint, womanly air. She has fantasies, but she isn't silly and imp-like!), were desecrated.

I might be biased of course, but really. Those of us who loves the book and the series will wrinkle our nose at the commercial. Ang engot talaga ng ABS.

The costumes were gaudy. If they're setting it in Georgian England still, no one would be dressed that way, not even those in insane asylums. Ugh!

Rant as I did here, let's see after Monday if they change my point of view. Yes, I'll watch. That's how much I love Frances Hodgson Burnett's masterpiece.

HP Addict's note: Alfonso Cuaron, who directed the critically-acclaimed Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, also directed the movie, 'A Little Princess'. Now, he also wasn't faithful to the book. But unlike our local and 'flagship daw' station, he didn't sully Sarah's story's beauty.

There it is! 'My first book!'

2007-11-05T17:16:00.000+08:00

I just share it with twenty others!

mood:

See my name? Fourth from the bottom in the second column.

Welcome back, Allenpot and happy birthday, Reniel! Ganda pics, len! Hurry and buy Rated X, ren! *kidding*

Again, thanks to the Almighty!

The Ring and the Fellowships

2007-11-04T23:14:00.000+08:00

mood: ignore the tense mishaps in this post... too lazy to self-edit

I found my ring! Given me by Dad when I was 15, it got lost last year in August (during a wrestling and snarling and death threats match with my brother) and wasn't discovered under the dishrack until January. And then I mourned over it again yesterday. I thought for sure I had flushed it in the toilet.

Turns out my other brother found it even before I was bending over and peering under furniture, inhaling and sneezing dust. Yay!

My mom asked me to hilot her. Halfway through the conversation, when I was asking what 'breed' of gold their old wedding ring was, she showed me her left hand. There, I saw my ring's zircon stones flash beside her Ilocos gold wedding ring. Yay!

My ring... Saudi gold, 18 karat. Just the right glint, unlike Mom and Dad's newer wedding rings, Hongkong gold at 24 karat-- they're too yellow for my liking. The Ilocos gold, meanwhile, was reddish. It looks bronze sometimes, but I like it, too. Hmm hmm. My ring, with six zircon stones forming a heart. Charming. Do I hear fifty? Hehe.

My brothers and sister are covering their faces 'watching' Shutter on the tv while I write this. Hehe. Me, I like shouting, so I keep my eyes uncovered and open.

Wooh, tomorrow is my friend Reniel's birthday! Happy birthday, Ren! And tomorrow, my friend Allen's back in Manila from Antique. Welcome back, Len! *awaits barquiron and books*

Of course, tomorrow also marks my friends' school comebacks. They'll be busy, weighted down by schoolwork. In this, I'm different from them. My days are filled with reading and writing. You'd think I have books of my own to show for it. But nada. Tsk tsk. I need to burn the oil in constant supply. *makes note to self*

There's the Likhaan... and the next Palanca. And my agent in the States who is waiting for me to write again with a FINISHED book.

Anyway, I'm grateful for all these open doors. And the coming PSF launch! Thank you so much, Lord! For my ring, for my friends and for my little Hobbiton.

La di dah...

2007-11-02T12:44:00.000+08:00

Himala, I'm awake before four p.m!

And my Mom's gone off somewhere, so I opened the pc before my bro beat me to it. Oh wait, he barbequed for us. Aww. But that means I do the dishes. Grr.

I'm not posting much in my blog, am I? It more seems like a journal than a BLOG, a web log, for goodness' sake, where people visiting can get something worthwhile. Hmm. Well... Who says I have to be worthwhile? I already am, to those who matter!

I wrote a little Cedric Diggory drabble. Entered into a challenge where the judges don't know grammar and art if it danced in front of them spraying Black Flag in their faces. Hehe.

This was supposed to show Cedric's Hufflepuff-ness in 500 words.

Did the judges do me wrong or did I do it right?

Here you go:

A Little Man

“What are you doing?”

“Hush, Cedie! Look, I got one!”

Coleen’s arm came out of the rabbit hole, hand fisted around a fluff of brown fur. Cedric’s eyes widened.

“You put that baby back in his nest this minute!”

“His mamma’s not here! What if she’s dead, even?”

“You don’t know that. Put him back.”

“I’m s’posed to mind Aunt and Uncle but I wasn’t told you could boss me.”

“You weren’t told you could take baby rabbits from nests either.”

“I’ll take care of him. You took care of that jackrabbit Uncle found—”

“That was different; the poor thing was washed to the creek. There was no way we could find his nest again. You’re stealing this baby.”

Coleen’s lower lip stuck out petulantly. Cedric was used to that. Coleen was the only baby girl of the family so far, and was consequently doted on as she was passed from uncle to uncle during the holidays. She was only five but very aware of her powers— which she demonstrated by bawling and marching from the wood to the house.

“Cedric, what have you done to your cousin?” was his mother’s greeting when he arrived. Her tone was nonchalant, however, even affectionate. This heartened Cedric. He was an only child, he had no one with whom to compare the way they treated him, but his parents’ trust and confidence in him was something he had always been cognizant of— and tried to keep.

“We had a row about a rabbit, Mum, that’s all. Coleen’s pining for a pet, I think.” And he sent a wink to Coleen. Her adorable forget-me-not eyes widened. No doubt it had just occurred to her.

“My princess is pining for a pet?” said Cedric’s father. Amos kissed Coleen and ruffled Cedric’s hair, whispering in his ear, “You planted that idea, son. You take care of it.”

~*~

“Where have you been all day?”

“Hush, Coleen! Look what I’ve got for you.”

Cedric opened the basket. Coleen peered in. In a wad of coarse red tartan was nestled a ball of white fur. Coleen squealed.

“Where did you get her?”

“From old Mr Lufkin.”

“And for me, really?”

“Yeah, better than having you steal bunnies, right?”

“Oh, Cedie! Thank— ugh! You reek!”

Cedric laughed as Coleen backed away from him, gently taking the basket with her. She had been about to hug him. Now he was dismissed in favour of a non-smelly little feline.

He went inside the house and collided with his father, who recoiled. “You smell like horse dung, Ced.”

“That’s because I’ve been shovelling away horse dung, Dad.”

“Oh? For this kitten?”

“Well, t’was s’posed to be for Mr Lufkin’s niece. And none of the rest of the litter was pretty. I... bargained.”

Amos’s chest swelled. Cedric feared he was about to be scolded for the first time. But his father only turned his red face to his mother. “Our son is quite the little man for a nine-year-old, isn’t he?”

Okay, bye! Gotta eat lunch! And then I'll write and continue Then Somebody Bends and Ron's Best Friend. LINKS AT THE BOTTOM of page! You know what's addicting about fanfiction? You publish and you get reactions fast. This is why JKR is envied as well. She is read and she is reviewed and she is alive to experience it all. Unlike, say, JRR Tolkien, diba?

While I wait for my own JKR-era, fanfiction muna. And then I'll tackle my own plot bunnies for the Gawad Likhaan. Or maybe I'll settle for just reaching *WAKAS*, my gosh.

mood:

P.S: Remind me to pray the rosary later for Ate Mayette, Lola Joaquina, Tito Cornelio, Ninang Franca, my Lolos and Tito Kenkoy... Eternal rest, grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace.

Nga pala, for those who wonder, we honor our beloved dead on All Saints' Day because they are among the saints, our benefactors and friends. We thank God for the blessing of having had them in our lives. Ganun.

Writer's block no more...

2007-11-01T00:48:00.000+08:00

I submitted my Phil Graphic/Fiction Awards entry yesterday-- I mean, my Mom carted it off to LBC. I finished it in the early hours yesterday, too, because the plot bunny had been so kind to hop and breed inside my head not until the 27th. Phew!

And then I pay the price. Not the LBC, my Mom paid that. There are loads of holes I see now and wish I could correct in those 14 pages now probably waiting in the shelves of Fully Booked Customer Service. Whew!

I could just pray now.

On cheery notes, I'd had my first assignments from READ! Yay! And I'm three quarters done with them! The bunnies are partying.

And here are the two covers Mr Alfar is deliberating over, my friends. Whatchu think?

mood:

Writer's block...

2007-10-19T20:19:00.000+08:00

Ugh... Grr... *sigh* *whine* Plums deify. Trojans pester. Get that, Murphy! I can still write a sentence! Will you just quit it and give me back my creative juices?! Deadline's a week away and I have yet to decide whether to keep my current draft and continue it or write another one, which won't come out! Well, it does, but without dialogue and scenery and prompters, just in idea spurts, like farts. Insubstantial and foul.

Ugh, even my analogy's off, isn't it? At least, I'm not whining now, hehehe. (Mood swings are part of this, oh yeah). Oh gods. Grr. *sigh* *whine*

If teens are from Neptune...

2007-10-06T04:13:00.000+08:00

...parents are from Saturn.

Gosh, it seems the moment we teeter on adulthood, we lost touch and sync with each others transmissions.

Analogies become 'pilosopo-ing', concerns become 'meddling' and 'choking'.

I had a sweet YM chat earlier with my Dad regarding my vampire hours. Sparks flew as our antennas sent disagreeing radio waves.

"Di lang talaga ako makatulog sa gabi, dad. Nun umaandar utak ko e. Si Jouie diba, di iniyo naman pinipilit kumain gulay?"

"Wag ka nga mangturo. Iakw kinakausap ko e. At ikaw ba kumakain ka gulay nung kaedad mo si Jouie?"

"Di ko kayo sinusuway ni momi. Ganun lang talaga body clock ko now, dad. Parang watchdogs. Sanay sila na active sa gabi."

"Wag mo ko pinipilosopo."

"Analogy tawag dun, dad, please."

"Bahala ka. Wala ka na kasi kailangan sakin e."

"HA?! Depende pa rin ako sayo dad ah."

And then, I don't know how, I was swallowing tears and snot because Dad was saying he circulated my First Prize-winning essay and all my articles at the office email.

The sizzle passed. Next moment, he was telling me I have a new cell phone. Nokia 6300. "Tanungin mo si Onchie magkano to jan."

Whew! Sometimes I can just shake my head and smile; sometimes I want to pull all my hair out because of guilt at things I blurt during crossfires.

In Flipped, Bryce Loski says, 'just dive for calmer water'. I wonder why I never remembered that advice when I need it. I hope I don't spend the rest of my life with 'sisi sa huli'. I'll bite my tongue from now on (or clamp my fingers beneath my rump in case of YM chats).

I'm blessed to have wonderful parents.

However barmy they seem and sound and act, they've always followed their heart's impulse.

Just as Saturn is surrounded by beautiful rings, so are parents engulfed to near choking with love and care for us.

What do they say? That you need to become a parent before you can understand them fully.

But right now, I'm still Neptonian. Sorry to Dad and Mum and God up there for my insolence.

And ya know, Saturnians also forget their Neptonian days...

Hence, the war. :)

SHOUTOUT! Thanks to Thomas (zenigata) for alerting me about the Philippine Genre Stories' call for their Christmas issue! I've submitted, Tom. A story about a girl and her strange encounter during Misa de Gallo. God bless us!

Lamaze breathing... hee hee woo! hee hee woo!

2007-10-02T03:06:00.000+08:00

LOL! That's funny. I wonder if I'll ever experiece that? I'll crack over laughing...

Anyway, I'm not about to write about pregnancy or being preggers (God forfend!) I'm just really behind on my beta-reading (the British's term for 'editing', and theyr'e snobbishly Brit at Mugglenet Fanfiction, believe me), I have seven in my IN Folder, phew! And then tomorrow night, there will be no early morning vampiric editing and net-surfing for me. I'll be sleeping over at my Tita Lot's because she's taking me early on Wednesday morning to Fr. Suarez at Megamall.

Fr. Suarez, the healing priest. I wonder if by Wednesday night, I'll be breathing Lamaze style again here, squeeing that I can hear again?

Seven years now of deafness.

And then this. Who knows, right?

And I'm real behind on my beta-reading, the submission of applications for moderators at MNFF closes today, I have a deadline of October 31st for Neil Gaiman's surreal fic contest, I have had another wonderful lunch and merienda with my MaCofWiz friends at my house and I have yet to post the pics and vids and there's this book to be launched in December with my name and story inside.

Breathe with me, baby. Hee hee woo! hee hee WOO!

I'm unworthy...

2007-09-27T19:27:00.000+08:00

...of the gifts this day brought.

Greetings from friends and relatives, warm wishes, hugs, kisses, and then the shocker! I'll be anthologized in the 3rd volume of The Philippine Speculative Fiction! Wooh! Breathe, woman, breathe.

Thank you so much, O Most Holy Trinity! And you, Mama Mary! You've been so kind and generous!

"I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever!"

"With all my heart, I will praise you, Lord,

with all that I am I will praise

Your Holy Name,

I will never forget how kind you are!"

Since September 15, I've been waiting for the results of the submissions. And now, just in time for my birthday, I get an email from Mr Dean Francis Alfar!

"Dear Joanna,

We are happy to accept "Hamog" for publication in Philippine Speculative Fiction vol.3. Your story was a delight from start to finish..."

My godric! If I'm the fainting kind of girl, I would have fainted. Instead, I squealed! Weeee! ^_^

Launch date is scheduled on December 8th at Fully Booked. Order directly from Kestrel (Kestrel IMC, the publisher) and mention my name for a 20% discount. Woot!

This has been divine. Will never forget this day. Thank You so much, Lord. And thanks to you guys, for your confidence in me, support and prayers and congrats. *hugs*

The picture on the right is the 2nd Volume of PSF. Lovely, no? And see notes from the peanut gallery, Mr Alfar's blog, for updates on PSF, his other books and the LitCritters (superb story critiquing group) , of which I'm a member (though lurky and shy), too!

Twenty-first century tuna!

2007-09-24T09:44:00.000+08:00

I'm turning twenty-one! Gorram you, Murphy!

I wish, I wish... Well, if you tell a wish, it won't come true...

Basta, right now, I'm excited cos susugod sa bahay mga bruho at bruha. Thank you so much in advance, Lord.

Friends may well be the masterpiece of nature. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

None of my friends are perfect, but that' what makes them even more special. *hugs* Eew, bantot. Joke lang! May tinamaan? Wahaaha!

~News about moi:

>Mugglenet Fan Fiction is looking for new mods. Guess what?

... Well, guess what nga e!

>My story, The Art of Weaselling, won 2nd Place in the Challenge of August. Woot! Yay!

>I'm nominated as Best Beta (thanks to my lovely Indian princess, Pooja!) and my story, To Love Life Again, is also nominated for Best Non-Canon Romance in MNFF's Quicksilver Quills Awards (thanks to my American belle, Fresca!) Sana manalo, kahit runner-up lang. But the competition is tough!

>I've submitted to the Philippine Speculative Fiction Antho. Please, Lord!

>I'm also joining the Philippine Graphic/Fiction Awards sponsored again by my idol Neil Gaiman... hay...

>I really loved the Gundam Wing DVD my bro Onchie shared with me. I love it when we have things we both love. Iba pa rin talaga kapatid.

> I have new glasses! See the pic? Taray!

Forgive the braggy tones ha, this is foremost for me naman, this blog, a record of me, myself and I. And I'm thankful for what happinesses I'm blessed with.

Oh and I'll post some lovely stories here from now on. The first one will be on my birthday, Snow, Glass and Apples by mon amour, Neil. ^_^

Mama, Mére, Nanay, Mommy!

2007-09-03T17:32:00.000+08:00

Click to play Make your own Smilebox

Tomorrow is my mom's birthday. I write this here as a tribute to her. If I die, it's up to you to reveal this blog to her, but cover all references to Regulus Black...... Haha! No references to Regulus Black here!

*hem hem* Anyway, watching my grad video, I realized what a spoiled brat I am. Susme.

I was glaring at my mom and beckoning to her imperiously as if I lived without aid from her at all.

And do you know I spend my days banging away on my laptop if I'm not banging on my phone's keypad? Laundry and ironing are not common things to me. It's my mom who does them, and she takes pride in my lovely hands.

My friends know about my vampire-ness. But this is because my mom allows me to read and write to my heart's content and also lets me sleep to my heart's content afterwards.

Thank you, Mom, for spoiling me. I love you. I don't look like I do, but I really, really, really appreciate all your love's labours. I'll never forget it. When I have kids of my own, I won't let them wash and iron either. Kaya dapat mayaman magiging fiance ko.

Joke lang, Regulus!

Mommy, love you! Happy birthday! I'm so glad I have you! I thank God for you and Dadoink. To you guys who read my blog, text/email/call your Mommy, too!

Milestones...

2007-08-29T22:09:00.001+08:00

Under maintenance ang Friendster, so I'll post here muna.
My grad was... memorable. Aren't all graduations?

When Mrs Bartolome went up the stage to call us her babies, I was busy laughing with Paula (my seatmate) coz her certificate belonged to Doming. So the upshot of this was I went up the stage last instead of first, humabol lang me. Ugh! How embarassing. But not really.

And then, you know, all the other times I went to get my modules, and even during grad practice, I was a snob, so I regret how nice and affable my 'classmates' turned out to be. All of us had our tales of woe, so all of us were sympathetic to each other. Sana I could turn back time so that I could ignore my impatience and bad temper with traffic! And then we'd bond. We did bond that graduation day anyway. People are nice. People are nice. That's why I dislike grouchy people. Hehe. (Minsan, I'm grouchy, shh.) I mean, ayoko sa reklamador and pessimistic chuva. Huh.

My medal looked like a coin in the back. Nakaukit ulo ni Sonny Belmonte. Honestly! Yucky! Eheehe!

All in all, thank you, Lord! I'm so happy. Mom was happy kasi.
I believe in angels, something good in everything I see, I believe in angels, when the time is right for meI'll cross the stream,I have a dream...
Oha, ganda no? Buti di tinuloy yung 'If We Hold On Together', heh. Masyado cliche e, diba?

Woot! Thank you to my MaCofWiz lovies for congratulating me. I'm so excited for our planned EB at our house! Nakakatawa lang si Allen e, nang-iimbita ng madami. Ikaw magpakain ha, Lenpot? Haha!

Sana it will be a sunny day dahil balak mag-swimming ni Dave. And syempre, mas maganda if makakapasyal kami sa clubhouse. Para di masyado makapagkalat yung mg brujo at bruja sa bahay.

Graduation and friendships. Milestones of life.

*more pics at Friendster soon*

Brain spaz...

2007-08-10T10:04:00.000+08:00

Forgot so many things, no? Like my excitement over DH and how I only paid 300 php for it thanks to my 'salary', hehe.

Anyway, my review for that gem of a tome is in www.thehowler.tk

I still feel a little stunned. But it's done and Voldy's gone moldy! So now it's my turn to have fun! Waahaha! Dream on, asa pa, Pauie...

Anyway, I enjoyed the trip with my brother. I hope we could get out more like that together.

And what else? July and August...oh and OOTP the movie! Very satisfying, the best movie so far in the franchise. It was eloquent and succinct. But all the things that should be there are there. And the story flowed smoothly, not like GOF where the scenes were piled on top of each other like a pile of rags, hmpf.

Besides, they made Hermione's gown pink instead of blue, eew.

Oh and I'm having my graduation on the 29th! We went to practice last Sunday, except that you can't call that a practice. There were only a quarter of us there. Still, no complaints, be thankful! Yep.

Thank you, Lord!

Happy busy bee

2007-08-10T01:31:00.000+08:00

Speculative Fiction compilation by Dean Alfar: September 15

Gawad Likhaan: March 8, 2008

Whew! And then just when I quit beta-reading for Harry Potter fiction, I get my Accreditation! I'll get back to HP fic editing when I'm done with my entries...

Anyway, wish me luck. Bless me, Father.

Ooh, and God rest Tito Cornelio...

Welcome Ate Neljay's baby girl...

Oh blue skies! Nothing but blue skies!

2007-06-28T18:07:00.000+08:00

Hehe! Yeah, sing it! From Star Trek. Who was that alien uli?

HAppy birthday to my bro kahit di naman niya to babasahin!

Whoi, my Pinoy Potterpals, sabi ni Onchie, may 200php tickets daw sa UP. 300 daw yun sa SM North. I dunno lang. Hmm. And it seems our shirt plan won't go through?

Dahil ang dami kong pinalipas na araw, bawi ako now.

I read your post, Debichan! How true. Just bless them, diba, and turn the other cheek. That's the way, aha, aha, to pile burning coals on their heads. Don't worry, people like you, my Debi, will never run out of friends. Real, real friends. :)

We went to Malabon Zoo for fun pala, and that's me and Cheesecake bonding. Ahaha! And we also went to Mall of Asia at last. And that's Powerbooks' Witch Hat. I wore it after answering the trivia and putting my thoughts about DH in the 'Pensieve'.

Aaargh! July is such a wonky month!

Back to my bawi, there's Roly and me when she visited me to meet Dad and return my GOF. She also lent me Bob Ongs in turn, yey!

It's been one great month. I'll miss my Dad when he goes away again. Hay...

He has this beautiful jaguar handkerchief na type ko. Pero ayaw ibigay. He showed me this one patterned with leaves. "Anu yan, marijuana?" *tawa kami* Dami rin tawa ni Dad watching me and Mom when we bicker. Hehe. Ewan ba, we are so masungit to each other sometimes. In an affectionate way.

Thank God for parents. Love you, Mom. Love you, Dad.

Desiderata

2007-06-28T17:51:00.000+08:00

My flagship post. *bow*

How long have I been gone? A month? More than a month. Nalibang ako e. And even my paper and ink diary has no entries in it whatsoever. Whew!

What's new?

I have a lot of friends from the Potterverse now. International. Parang Marlboro. Or is it Winston? Ah, I know! Fortune!

Next week, my Dad will go back to Saudi again. But I've told him about this, and if mapilit ko si Mom, gagawa din siya sarili niyang blog for Dad, wahaha! (This site should have emoticons!)

Hay, anyway, ni hindi man lang kami nakapagbadminton ni Dad. Ulan kasi. ANd before that, I was too addicted to my spanking new laptop.

What made me write here though, is...

I passed the DepEd A&E with flying colors, second in all of QC. But my UPCAT application was either not filed or rejected.

Ayoko manisi or manumbat.

For everyone's peace, and most of all, for my own, I'll just look at this stoically. Maybe it's not yet time for me to go to college. Maybe I have other things to do.

And I will do them.

I've been wasting a lot of time already. Well, now, I have my laptop na. I can concentrate on finishing my novel na!

Perhaps it will be nice if I enroll after gaining name, hehe. Like Pacquiao. Grrrr!

So here in this entry I officially record my striving for happiness.

By choosing to be happy instead of sulking and throwing a three-year-old tantrum as I'm wont to do.

I've waited six years. What's another year, right? And with that year, I can do a lot, I must do a lot. I will do a lot.

So help me, God.

*bow*

Pure Lunacy

2007-05-05T00:55:00.000+08:00

Lookie, lookie!

I found this adorable Draco-Hermione fic just now, and I wanted to share it with you. I'll probably post this in OP, but my blogger Macofriends will have the unabridged version.

The author is xylitol in Fanfiction.net.

This is an interview, where you, the reader, get the gist of the questions from Draco's answers. The questions are invisible and are just represented by the letter Q. Get it? Here we go!

for the first timeI'm telling how much I need and bleed foryour every move and waking sound in my timeI'll wrap my wire around your heartand your mindyou're mine forever nowwho wouldn't be the one you love and live forwho wouldn't stand inside your love and die forwho wouldn't be the one you love -Stand Inside your Love, The Smashing Pumpkins

Q.
They all like to say that I 'saw' the light. That one day I woke up and decided that Voldemort was not the way and that Dumbledore and his army were. That I finally saw that being an evil bastard was just not a good thing to be.
Give me a break.
The truth is I figured out after awhile that I was on the losing side. And being the smart guy I am, I gracefully made my way over to the winning side. That, and I wanted to spite my father. Because, you know, all boys hate their fathers.
Q.
No, they do. It's some deep, psychological thing. That, and my father was a real jackass.
Q.
It has a lot to do with her. Do you think if I was still a Death Eater I would have fallen in love with Hermione Granger? Come on, now. That's not to say that when I switched sides I fell head over heels right away. In fact, I hated Granger more than ever. Since the Aurors couldn't really be sure of me, they assigned one of their best to keep an eye on me. One of their best happened to be Granger, of course. And she was awful. She took everything I said as some symbolic threat. She followed me everywhere. If I made any sudden movements, she stupefied me. And you know, I think that might have caused some brain damage. That, and I developed a tic. She constantly questioned my actions.
'Why are you sitting there?'
'Why are you reading that?'
'Why do you want to go there?'
'Why are you breathing?'
Q.
No, she didn't ask me why I was breathing, but I'm trying to make a point here. Anyway this went on for about two months, and I was about to go back to being a Death Eater.
Q.
Yeah, really. But then, the Ministry was directly attacked. Remember that? Remember hearing about how nasty it was? Well, I was there, fighting against those I used to call comrades. I was dealing with MacNair when my father, the bastard, cast a really nasty curse meant for me. And guess what happened?
Q.
Granger screamed my name, my first name, pushed me out of the way and got hit by it instead. It pissed me off, I've never been so angry.
Q.
Well, I killed MacNair, and then I turned around and killed my father.
…Q.
Yeah, it was me who kill Lucius Malfoy. I asked the people who witnessed it to keep quiet about the situation.
Q.
It felt good. And no, I don't regret it at all. Actually, that's not true, I did regret it a little when Weasley… Ron Weasley complained that Lucius would have been better to us alive. But other than that…
Q.
She was unconscious for nearly a month, as you know. You were all pretty sure she wouldn't wake up, that she was brain dead. But I knew better, I knew that Granger was a fighter, so I didn't give up on her.
Q.
…No, that's not when I fell in love with her! Are you crazy? I despised her more than anything that month. If she died, then her life would have been on my hands. And I hated her for putting me in that position. She woke up, though. And she looked at Potter, at Weasley, at Lupin, and then at me. And do you know what the first words out of her mouth were?
Q.
'Are you alright, Malfoy?' What the hell kind of question is that to ask after being in a coma for a month? 'Are you alright, Malfoy?' What a lunatic.
Q.
I said I was fine. And she smiled that small smile of hers that made you feel like you were the most important and wonderful person in the world. Then she drifted back into a healthy sleep, leaving the four of us dumbfounded.
Q.
After she was fully recovered and back in business the most evil man in the world decided to do the most sadistic thing.
Q.
No, not Voldemort. Dumbledore. Anyway, he decided that Granger and I would make a good team. I failed to see the logic in this arrangement, and so did Granger. But Dumbledore apparently saw plenty of logic, because he pushed for it. I don't think I've ever resented the crazy, old man more.
So, Granger and I would become the strangest and most unlikely partners in Auror history, but we would also become the best. It turned out, that despite all our differences, Granger and I thought alike. We just executed our tactics differently. She was a Gryffindor and I was a Slytherin, after all. After arguing these tactics with each other, and nearly biting each other's head off in the process, we would eventually settle for middle ground. This really threw off our enemies, and we had many victories as a result. And since Granger was naturally inclined to be act like an overly sentimental idiot, and I had a debt to pay, we always looked out for each other. You wouldn't believe the bounty Voldemort put on our heads. Makes a chap feel kind of proud.
Q.
Yeah, yeah, I'm getting to it. What is it with you women and romance? So, here were me and Granger, kicking Death Eater ass. And when we weren't kicking Death Eater ass, or fighting, we treated each other with a cold formality. Potter would later say that the sexual tension between us was glaringly obvious.
Q.
No. I really didn't feel any sexual tension at all during that time. At least, not consciously. I had no reason to, you see. For the most part, I forgot that my partner was female, and I preferred it that way. It made things less complicated. … But that would change, unfortunately.
One day, one horrible day, I went to Granger's flat to discuss our newest assignment. She didn't answer the door after I rang the bell twice, so I just walked right in. I remember being annoyed at her for never bothering to lock her door. As I was closing it, and locking it myself, I heard a crash from her bedroom. And it scared the hell out of me. What if she was being attacked? So I kicked opened her bedroom door, and stepped in, wand ready. But Granger wasn't being attacked, the rack that held all those …what are they called? Those flat, silver plates that muggles use to play music? DZs? …DCs? …No, CDs! Yeah, that's it. Anyway, it fell and the CD's were scattered all over her bedroom floor. I would have just rolled my eyes, called her a klutz, and told her to hurry up. If it weren't for one very unfortunate detail…
Q.
Granger was standing there, staring wide-eyed at the fallen CD rack, hairbrush in her hand, hair wet, bath towel at her feet, completely naked and completely perfect in everyway. When I burst into the room, she looked up at me, and then back down at the towel that, I'm assuming, she dropped when the CD rack fell, then she looked up at me. Then a lovely blush stained her cheeks, and she screamed at me to get the hell of her room and threw the hairbrush at me. I was out of her room in less than a second, and then out of her flat in two seconds. But it was already too late. I had seen enough for my mind and body to remember that Hermione Granger was, indeed, a female, and a very nice looking one at that.
Q.
That little minx pretended the whole thing never happened. And I figured I could get over it just fine. I mean, it's not like I was deprived or anything, I knew plenty of girls that would be willing and ready to sleep with me. But things only got worse for me, because suddenly I was noticing things. The shapeliness and fullness of her lips that made her look like she was pouting. The way she bit that bottom lip when she was nervous. The dimple in her right cheek when she smiled. The fact that her eyes were the color of cinnamon. The way she lifted her chin stubbornly when she knew she was right. The small mole on her right shoulder. The way she talked with her hands. How she always smelled of Vanilla. Her no-nonsense walk. The little sounds she made when she was irritated with me. All of it just came into full focus.
Q.
It made me want to scream at her and destroy her with one good hex. But mostly I wanted to kiss her until she couldn't think straight. I wanted to push her against my desk in our office, rip all of her non-flattering clothes off, and take her right then and there. Right on that damn desk. I wanted to replace that self-righteous look of hers with a look of pure pleasure. …And I really could go on and on, but from the look on your face, I doubt you think it's appropriate.
…Q.
Well, the lust was fast and chaotic, and it left me breathless. The love, on the other hand, was a bit sneakier; it crept up on me slowly. In the beginning, it was a very rare thing for Granger and I just to talk.You know, have a conversation about a book or something. But gradually, Granger would just start telling me things. What she thought of a book, the weather, a color, rumors, universal theories and stuff like that. It was in her nature to enjoy discussing things; she just needed to get comfortable enough with a person before she did. And being that she spent time with me more than anyone else, she probably figured that she either had to fight against her nature, or give in and get comfortable with me. She chose the latter. So, I got to know Granger really well. And after awhile, she became more than my partner, and a great annoyance in my life. She became a person. And I liked the person she was. Why wouldn't I? She was intelligent, witty, and she had a good sense of humor.
Q.
The day I realized I was in love with her was the day we got caught in the rain. We were tying up some loose ends in a muggle park where the Death Eaters had killed a few muggles a few weeks before. It was dismal, boring, routine work that always put Granger in a dark mood. We both wanted to be done and out as soon as possible. Just as we finished, the sky, which had been ominously dark all day, rumbled with a loud thunderclap, and rained down on us. We were drenched in seconds. I yelled at Granger over the rain that we were done and that we needed to get the hell out of that park before we drowned. But Granger just stood, staring straight ahead, seeing something that wasn't really there. I remember scowling and walking over to her, and putting my hand on her shoulder, shaking her…
"We need to go!" I said.
She turned and looked at me, smiling sadly. "Everyone thinks that rain represents sadness, death, misery… all those horrible things. I've never thought that. Rain is life, rain washes away all the bad, all the pain."
She lifted her arms and face to the sky, and spun once. Then she glanced at me and her smile was no longer sad, but happy and playful. She put her arms down and took my hands in hers. "Play with me, Malfoy!"
I stared at her like she had lost it. "...What?"
Her smile grew wider. "Play in the rain with me!"
Then she pulled me with her into a puddle that was nearly knee-deep in depth. I glared at her and started making my way out of that lake of a puddle, but she held on. I gave my wrist a good, hard yank, which took her by surprise and had her falling into me. I lost my balance and we both fell.
I was in the cold, muddy water, but her body was warm and soft against mine. It was an extremely uncomfortable situation. "Damn it, Granger!"
She looked at me a bit wide-eyed, then rolled off me much to my relief and misery, and sat next to me. "Geez, Malfoy. Way to ruin the fun."
I sneered, gripped a handful of mud at the bottom of the puddle, and smeared it on to her face. She screamed in surprise, and took her own handful of mud and threw it at me. It went on like that. We threw mud at each other like we were five-year-old Neanderthals.
Eventually she yelled that she gave up and then she laughed, that rich and carefree laugh that I loved, but I didn't know why. I just grinned at her.
"See? Wasn't that fun?" She said.
"Oh yes, but it might have been more fun if you were naked… and you were fighting in the mud with another naked girl. And I was a few feet away, under an umbrella, cheering you on." I drawled, trying to wipe some of the mud off my face.
She laughed again. "You need to get your head out of the gutter." And she leaned forward, and wiped the mud off of my cheek gently.
And it was there, right there, when I knew that I was in love. … Oh holy hell, are you crying?
…Q-q.
Oh, quit crying, it's not a big deal. And I didn't do anything about it. We got up and Apparated back to the ministry.
Q!
Because I was scared. And it takes a lot for me to admit that, even now. I'd never been in love before, and it was overwhelming. It was consuming. I could barely look her in the eye afterwards because I was so afraid she'd see. It was torture working with her. It's hard to be so close to your idea of perfection and knowing that it would never be yours.
Q.
I didn't tell her because all my life I was used to getting what I wanted, but this situation was different, because she had to want the same thing for it to work. I wasn't used to that. I am the proverbial only child that is spoiled and selfish, and I was afraid of being rejected for the first time in my life.
Q.
After awhile it got to be too much for me, so I started distancing myself from her. I pushed her away; I treated her like I did in the past. With a cold formality, except this time without the fighting. I could tell it bothered her, and she confronted me about it, but I brushed her off. And finally, she gave up trying to find out what was wrong, just accepted things. She did that, you know, accepted things even though she was unhappy with them.
Q. Q! Q!
Yes, yes it was wrong and probably very unhealthy, but that's the way it was. And I figured that would be that, you know? That I would be forever in love with someone I could not have. Eventually, I started getting used to the idea, because I just have so much strength. Then Granger started dating Adonis Makarios, that Greek prat from the Charms Department.
Q.
Well, I'm glad you remember. I remember too. I remember that it drove me fucking crazy. Excuse my language. Jealously, stark raving mad jealously was another emotion I was quite unfamiliar with. I wanted to kill him. Every time I saw them flirting with each other at work I wanted to break his face. Every time she mentioned she was going on a date with him, I wanted to grab her and kiss her and tell her she was mine, all mine. But I didn't, because I figured that I was better than that… and that the relationship wouldn't last more than two weeks because Granger was so focused on her job that she wouldn't let it become serious. But Makarios was a persistent guy, and he wouldn't take no for an answer, and when they were still dating after three weeks, I lost it…
"I'm leaving early today," She said. Her face was bright, and she was smiling very prettily.
"Why's that?" I asked, enchanted by her smile and that dimple of hers.
"Adonis is taking me out to dinner tonight," She said cheerfully, while tidying up things on my desk like she always did.
My eyes narrowed and I clenched my hands into tight fists. "Dinner, huh? So I guess it's just a matter of time before he's in your pants," I spat.
She dropped some paperwork, startled. "H-how dare you say such a thing!? You have no right to say something like that to me! What I do with my personal life is none of your business!"
I stood up from my chair and leaned closer, the desk the only thing that stop me from grabbing her and drowning in the vanilla that clouded all my senses. "I can say anything I fucking want to," I hissed.
"And just what gives you the right!?"
I didn't have a reasonable answer for that one. So I threw out another insult. "Hey, I'm just worried that when he decides to fuck you you'll get distracted from what matters. Your job."
Her own eyes narrowed, and she smiled cruelly. "Oh? Is that all? Well what makes you think that he hasn't fucked me already?"
It was the most vulgar thing I'd ever heard her say, and it was like a slap in the face. Unwanted images of she and Makarios together making love flashed through my head, and left me sick to the stomach.
My shock and revulsion must have been clear on my face, because in a huff she stomped around his desk and stood only what seemed like an inch in front of me.
"Just what is your problem, Malfoy? You've been acting like a complete bastard to me for nearly two months, and I know it's not just Adonis, because I only started dating him a month ago. So tell me, what is the problem!?"
"I don't have to deal with this," I said, not meeting her eye, and began to move away. I couldn't breathe suddenly.
But Granger pushed me as hard as she could against the desk and it had me thinking of all those not-so-innocent fantasies. …I really needed to get out.
"I want answers, Malfoy! And you're not leaving until I get them! Her voice was desperate and nearly hysterical.
And something else inside me snapped.
"You want answers, Granger? I'll give you fucking answers. I can't stop thinking about you. Everywhere I go, everything I see, everything I do reminds me of you. You drive me fucking crazy! I want… I can't…" My voice trailed off. I had just done a very un-Malfoy like thing. I wanted somebody to kill me right then and there.
Granger stared at me, cute and confused. "What are you saying, Malfoy?"
I pushed her away from me, gently, but the intent was still there. I didn't want her near me. "That I'm in love with you and I don't fucking LIKE IT! Now you know. Now you can go on your little date and you can go fuck Makarios. Go. Get out. Have a bloody wonderful time!"
Granger just stood there, looking shocked.
"Granger, I suggest you stop standing there looking like an idiot and go before I do something we're both gonna regret," I said, meaning every word.
She cocked her said to the side, and the shock was gone replaced by curiousity. "Like what?" She asked, her voice so nauseatingly innocent that I knew she was trying to bait me.
So I decided to show her just what.
I stepped forward and kissed her. Hard. All my frustrations went into that kiss. I wanted her to know just how crazy I was because I couldn't have her. Then Granger took me completely by surprise. She returned my kiss with the same vigor and passion. It turned out that she was just as frustrated as I was.
So there you have it. It turned out that Granger was in love with me too. Makarios had just been a charming and pleasant distraction that got her mind off of me, she later admitted. And she never slept with him, much to my relief. I demanded that she break off all ties with him and never speak to him again.
Q!
...She didn't, anyway. She's not like that, unfortunately. She just explained everything to him, and he understood completely, because he's Greek and that makes him all mystical and wise. … Or something. Anyway, they're still good friends, and I still despise him. You can't always win.
Q.
For some time, actually. You're going to have to ask her about it yourself, because that's her story to tell.
Q.
Not as shocked as I thought they'd be. I guess everyone had seen what we hadn't. Dumbledore's eyes just twinkled in that way that really pisses me off. And Potter and Weasley…er, Ron just told me if I hurt her they'd kill me. Slowly.
Q.
We wanted to wait until Voldemort was defeated. I told Potter to hurry it up, because I was getting impatient, and the man pulled through for me.
…Q!
…Oh come on, of course you can rush the defeat and death of a dark and powerful wizard. I even helped him out with it. What are you so mad at me for? I'm a hero!
Q.
I only refer to her as Granger when I'm talking about her to other people, now. She's the same. Our first names have become somthing of a pet name to each other, which is kind of sad, now that I think about it.
Q.
I'm very happy.
Q.
Prepared? What is there to be prepared for? I'm getting married, not going to war.
Q.
No, I'm not nervous. But you're starting to make me feel that way. Really, the only thing I used to worry about is the lack of a sex life that marriage usually causes. But I don't worry about that anymore.
Q.
Because I know you.
Q!
You and your husband had SEVEN kids. You guys must have been going at it all the time after you got married.
SMACK!
Fin.

Love is...

2007-05-04T23:52:00.000+08:00

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments.

Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

-Sonnet 116 by Shakespeare

*kilig* *sigh*

Chat and A Reflection on Bargains

2007-05-04T20:40:00.000+08:00

daddy: o kumusta na bebi? malapit na uli pasukan ah, do you have everything you need?

joanlouise: pencil case dadoink, at pencils.

daddy: may books ka na?

joanlouise: wala pa, di pa ako enrol eh, bibigay yun pag enrol ka na.

daddy: e bag mo?

joanlouise: sikip.

daddy: sikip bag mo? gusto mo malaki?

joanlouise: shoes ko din, masikip na.

daddy: bibili ka shoes ni momi.

joanlouise: opo, madami sa SM, 150-250 lang.

daddy: talaga? (tawa kami ni mommy sa background)

joanlouise: (irap samin) o dadi sino boboto mo jan?

daddy: si lacson lang boboto ko.

joanlouise: e 12 dapat!

daddy: e si lacson lang gusto ko e.

joanlouise: wala lacson no engot.

daddy: o sino lang pala?

joanlouise: sila joker, chiz, villar, loren, zubiri, tol,

daddy: ayoko sa mga yan.

joanlouise: sino gusto mo? si cessar?

daddy: sinong cesar?

joanlouise: ang kakafal nila, pati si richard at pacquiao tatakbo.

daddy: ngee! (rolling on the floor laughing and rolling eyes emoticon) e yung aircon niyo, nakabit na ba?

joanlouise: di pa

daddy: baka itatago lang ni momi. (tawa kami ni mommy)

joanlouise: nagpedicure sila ni ate kanina ganda kulay ng kuko nila parang patay

daddy: (rolling on the floor laughing emoticon)

joanlouise: o kumakain na bebi mo, zart, ako muna. si panyang nagwala yun kanina naistorbo na naman kasi sa ginagawa.

daddy: e konting tiis na lang naman dating na notebook niya e

joanlouise: di daw siya makaka-internet jan.

daddy: wireless LAN to e, kukuha lang to ng signal, iset-up lang. (inikot cam papunta sa laftof) o eto o. black at silver. etong square na to pinaka-mouse niya

joanlouise: trackpad daw tawag jan.

joanlouise: (sumingit me sa keyboard) dad, yung iba mas gusto ang portable mouse, andito sa writer's digest, kaasar daw kasi trackpads and eraser-point thingies.

joanlouise: kabuwanan mo na ba zart?

daddy: (angry and steamy-ears emoticon)

joanlouise: (laughing emoticon) laki tiyan mo eh! kambal yata!

daddy: naglaro kami kanina, kaya antok na ko.

joanlouise: bantot mo na din siguro, naligo ka na? (tawa ako sa background)

daddy: pano ko makakaligo, ang daldal niyo mag-iina (stick-out tongue emoticon)

joanlouise: ang ganda naman ng laptop, gusto ko din niyan, magrawriter na din ako zart baka dun tayo yumaman. nagsusulat din ako dati no

daddy: oo sige, pag wala ka magawa magsulat ka (background, ako: you don't read na, mommy, kaya you can't write, magbasa ka muna uli)

joanlouise: mga kwentong (ako: barbero) barbero isusulat ko (smug emoticon)

daddy: (laughing emoticon) zart, naeebak na ako e, babay na.

joanlouise: gumanda ba ako?

daddy: (ngee daw sa cam)

joanlouise: kumpleto na uli ngipin ko eh!

daddy: oo, bumagay naman (shrug emoticon)

joanlouise: kaasar ka (at wit's end emoticon)

daddy: (rolling on the floor laughing emoticon) oo, ganda na.

joanlouise: sige na, umebak ka na, tse!

daddy: sige, babay muna. bukas uli. love you zart.

joanlouise: love youuuuuuuuuu (kiss kiss kiss kiss emoticon)

daddy: (waving emoticon, kiss kiss kiss emoticon)

daddy: logging out....

joanlouise: byeeeee dadiiiiiiiiiiiii

daddy: si onchie nanjan?

joanlouise: nakalayas na naman, naligo tapos magpapahangin daw.

joanlouise: nagpapabili sayo yun ng tennis racquet.

daddy: ngee, kaya ba niya tennis? baka matanggal braso niya (laughing emoticon).

joanlouise: mana lang naman sayo mga binata mo, patpatin ka din daw dati sabi ni nanay (rolling in the floor laughing emoticon)

daddy: sige, magtennis na lang siya imbes na puro ragnalok.

(tawa kami ni jouie sa background, wahahah!)

My dad is arriving on the 18th. Needless to say, I'm excited! Wee! I missed him so much, and I love our verbal sparring. Sayang lang I wouldn't be able to hear it when he and mom does it. Thank God for YM. Haha!

They say that girls who grew up without fathers have a harder time searching for good husbands compared to those who had been doted on by their dads since birth. I agree. I couldn't imagine to whom I would measure up my future mate (I can dream, diba? hehe) if I didn't have my dadoink.

Also, I see how he interacts with my mom. That will be useful later when I myself have my own family.

Basta, I'm so thankful for both my parents.

And with Mother's Day coming, I'll be sure to have another senti entry dedicated to my Mom.

Katawa din si Jouie, no?

A sidelight: Yung aircon, it was sold to us at a great bargain by a neighbor in need. Isn't that a little creepy and wince-inducing? Profitting from another's misfortune. *shrug* I'm happy may aircon na kami, but still, I feel it wasn't right that we had to take it in exchange for giving help. Grabeng guilt complex. But then, there was pride. Selling is better than utang'.

Rather go aircon-less than beg. Rather give big big donations to church than just ask for a miracle.

Oh my, preachy.

Jesus' law was to give without expecting to receive. If I'll be blessed with the ability and resources to give, I won't take back. I was given much. I should give much.

Jesus has loved us much, so we should trust Him as much. He said to 'Ask.' Because He assures us that we will receive.

Doodle, doodle

2007-05-02T00:04:00.000+08:00

It's apparent I'm addicted.

I just found my long-lost Pilot ballpen (I refuse to use any other). I'll be in for a very long night, updating my conventional diary up to February. That's how long I haven't written in my journal. Kasi naman, I have another addiction, and that is reading. Between fanfiction and Little Women and Ursula K. Le Guin's Earthsea series, walang laban ang diary ko. Whew.

And then here is my very own blog. Unlike the fake one Globe had, this is a real blog that only me and those of my friends I shared my URL with could view. That's neat. No comments on tagboards about 'what daw silbi ng mga posts ko', susme.

Today, I have just returned my first editing job!

They called it 'beta-reading' in UK. Nice term. (Beta is the second letter in the Greek alphabet. So basically, it means, I'm a 'second reader'). Ganun. I am now a beta-reader in Mugglenet Fanfiction. Nyehe. And I was so giddy receiving my first job. My 'client' had a problem with spelling, grammar and punctuation kasi, and then there were also some HP canon facts to correct. When I was done, seeing those red letters left by Microsoft Word's Track Changes tool, I felt like I was slurping Selecta Quezo Real. Hehe. That good.

And then to add to my bliss, I received an e-mail from CPMA telling me, "Hi Joanna, this is to confirm receipt of your entry in the Essay and Short-story categories along with your resume and Authorization Letter."

Now I need only pray and pray and pray that I win--and that Emily will soon email me that her story had been validated at MNFF. *Ka-ching!*

p.s. Just saw Spidey3's trailer. But wala panama sa OOtP jitters. Oh gosh, July, will you hurry up?

Friends

2007-05-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

It's only right and expected that I dedicate one special post for those brujos and brujas that have made my life so pleasant lately. And sometimes, I still marvel at how far I've come, from that sad-loner-with-no-barkada I used to be.

I'm also touched because MaCofWiz seems tightly knit (inactive members aside), even though we all became friends through what would be considered 'dodgy' means. But after the successful and fun 'eyeballs', there's no other way of saying it: It's Magic. Magic done by God, giving me friends who accept me and think of me. Gosh. I don't deserve this.

This afternoon, Eli told me nasa galaan daw siya, in Intramuros, with Allen and Reniel. Wala lang, I reflected lang, na it was good that these Maco brujos were hanging out together. College is different from high school, I guess it was such a comfort to have friends already, as all of them came from far places other than Manila. Ren is from here in Bulacan, Eli and Allen both hailed all the way from Antique. I could claim that because of Maco, they have companions ready. I myself am excited na nga to go to college too, because of my friends. Planned na agad ang mga gala, Allen said ililibot niya ako sa Manila. Hanepf. I hope my parents won't stumble over this, wahaha!

Funny. Before kasi I used to tremble at the mere thought of going back to school. All those strange people...

My friends gave me confidence and a new personality.

Even my uncle noticed it. I am now more outgoing, no longer the stuck-up suplada I was infamous in the family of being.

I owe a lot to you, guys. My mare Rolydee gave me funny bones. Sherly, Shen, Marynol, Lyn, Debi taught me sweetness. And the boys, well, the boys made me learn a lot about boys. That they could be sweet and caring and fun, not just brusque engots. Wahehe. Joking! Talaga, I was this suplada and taray dati. But this is all in the past, when I had no MaCofWiz to call 'home'.

Kahit I always send Snitches and W.T's and am so insistent about Potterity, it all comes down to friendship. It would break my heart if I lose you, brus. I always thank God for you, and ask Him to put you in His palms.

To each of you: thank you so much for being you. For being my friend. *senti*

Dreamy day

2007-05-01T17:45:00.000+08:00

I had a weaird dream today. Yes, today, not last night, kasi you know na, I get up at around three P.M, hehe.

We almost always forget our dreams when we become conscious, but sometimes scraps hold on, and our subconscious holds on, too. I found this very useful, my subconscious's tenacity had inspired many essays and plot bunnies.

Anyway, at first, I was in this place with many alleys, eskinitas. I was walking along there, and I remember vividly how I avoided every muck and puddle. It looked like a wet market, though there didn't seem to be stalls selling anything, just shacks and other small buildings.

I was walking, and suddenly a dog was following me. Mom appeared out of nowhere and began swatting at the dog, while I was biting my tongue and praying to San Roque (said to be the patron of dogs).

I don't know if the dog did anything, all I recall is that I was suddenly so furious, and I shouted at the dog's owner, "Asong ganyan, hindi nakatali! Ikulong niyo yan!"

*end of dream*

And then I was in a church. What was remarkable was that there were candles on the back of the pews, so that if you sat down, you are in danger of burning your hair.

The Mass ended, and we all congregated on the doors. The doors were all closed. And there was one minister saying, "Bubuksan yan ni Lord."

It was so weird. Suddenly, there was my cousin Carlo, and he led me up a winding staircase. On the landing, we were no longer in the church, but a creepy empty hall with heavy drapes on the windows.

*end of dream*

I always have this dream of getting lost in a mansion, you know. Whichever way we turned, whatever door we entered, or however many staircases we climbed, we never found the exit. Sometimes, I'm alone in this 'lost' dream, and this is when I wake up desperate for water.

I don't know if it means anything. I don't mind much. But it's sometimes scary when you're aware that your subconscious is intent on giving you some message.

Of Vistas, Remembrances and Night Reading

2007-04-30T20:49:00.000+08:00

This is a port somewhere in Gumaca (not sure) Quezon, where we stopped to have merienda and stretch our legs on our trip back home from Bicol last last week.

Nice view, no? I have taken more, of golden fields and blue mountains, of tall trees looking tiny in the green ravines... Just ran out of battery kaya hindi natransfer lahat from the digicam. But never mind, they have stayed in my mind. All of them have given me a taste for travelling.

Thank God I have a sturdy stomach, hehe.

Plans this May is a trip to Baguio with our Dad. Sana matuloy. Would you believe I haven't ever been to Baguio?

Anyway, its sad that I only had these souvenirs of rusticity and nautre because my cousin died. We are all in a debate whether it was aneurysm or brain cancer. Still, we're glad her suffering is over, and don't worry Ate Mayet, we'll take care of James.

Hi debbie! Thanks for the comment. Remember to sit up when you read that book! Hehe! And have proper lighting, coming from your left side. We don't want you ruining your eyes.

And Chris, aww, tamadeo mozart ka din?

~>There's reason why I posted the photo of an ocean here.

Isn't it the symbol of constancy? And life doesn't ever truly end.

...And what is it to cease breathing
but to free the breath from its restless tides,
that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top,
then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs,
then shall you truly dance.
-Kahlil Gibran

2007-04-30T04:12:00.000+08:00

I gotta go to bed now....whew! What will I dream of? Regulus? Wahaha!

I saw Debbie's, Allen's and Reniel's blogs na. Ganda. And pareho pa kami ni Reniel ng template. But he has different fonts, where did that come from? *yawn*

I'll sing myself to sleep, but my mom and sibs will wake up, *giggles-wiggles* I need smileys and emoticons over here. Why aren't there any?

Good night, moon bright.

Vampire inclinations

2007-04-30T01:26:00.000+08:00

I'm always up on the first hours of the new day, with said first hours still as dark as night. Well, it is night!

I don't know when I started to have a reverse schedule (probably when my book addiction kicked in, and when was this?) , being active at night and asleep during the day. It's inconvenient in the summer, when it gets so hot around noon that I wake up only to wipe my forehead and other body parts of sweat. Whew!

If unlike me, you need to wake up early and don't like being awake with no one to talk to, this is my advice:

Master your fear of the night and brave your way to your kitchen to hunt for onions. Two will do for one cup of water. Boil. Add some salt. Tadah! Onion soup. Drink it, of course. And then, gurgle with a strong mint mouthwash.

Go back to bed. Don't think. Don't count. Just lie there. And sleep will come.

If unlike me, you aren't prejudiced against sleeping pills, well, you don't have to stink-en your breath! Ahehe...

If like me, you enjoy being up, tell me what you do. Me? I write down ideas. Nocturnal plot bunnies, I tell you. They wouldn't leave me in peace, pun-ny. And since ideas disappear like good pens, I write them down quickly.

If my mom goes to sleep early, I get to post in forums, too. And now, here is a blog to add to my entertainment.

Also, hey! My friends are there to text with. Great times!

The trick is to do something. The time when its dark is time to spend in bed, but since you're not abed, use the time, the gold, buddy.

Better than fidgeting and keeping roommates or your underbed monsters awake.

Oopsie, just kidding!

dug-dug, dug-dug

2007-04-29T23:31:00.000+08:00

Just submitted my Palanca entry earlier. Been a helluva week, frantic but not so frantic, because I still kept allowing myself to be sidetracked by fanfiction. Still, I pray that my efforts will not be in vain...please God...

Well, hello blogging! I've seen these sort of stuff from fellows over in Writer's Digest Forums, but back then I was too busy or just not interested to make one. Funny how we always do things when our friends had done them already as well. Companionship is everything. And don't let it be said that I'm gaya-gaya either. I've been keeping a diary up to four years back, this is just a high-tech diary, isn't it? With the difference that it can be read by friends here and forum buddies all the way in England!

I have loads to record and reflect over, but for now, I won't bore you with them. Welcome me into the world of blogging!

Desiderata

Moving....

*sigh* *squee* *sigh*

Of banners, signatures and de-dignified books

There it is! 'My first book!'

The Ring and the Fellowships

La di dah...

Writer's block no more...

Writer's block...

If teens are from Neptune...

Lamaze breathing... hee hee woo! hee hee woo!

I'm unworthy...

Twenty-first century tuna!

Mama, Mére, Nanay, Mommy!

Milestones...

Brain spaz...

Happy busy bee

Oh blue skies! Nothing but blue skies!

Desiderata

Pure Lunacy

Love is...

Chat and A Reflection on Bargains

Doodle, doodle

Friends

Dreamy day

Of Vistas, Remembrances and Night Reading

Vampire inclinations

*dug-dug, dug-dug*

sigh squee sigh

dug-dug, dug-dug